Amnesia Affairs
by Desenchanter
Summary: Two-Shot. AU. They were college sweethearts only to get married right afterwords for four years but then the car crash happened and nothing was ever the same...
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** in and out of first person. You'll figure out who's talking, I promise.

**{~| Amnesia Affairs |~}**

[|:|]**  
**

_Five and a half_ years have passed… Gods, almost six now. Almost six whole years have passed since the last time I saw him… so broken and battered in the hospital. How could one person be attached to so many machines, wires, and tubes? _How_? It killed me, really, it split my soul in two to see my husband like that. My strong, stubborn, silly husband that I cherished for so long… he wasn't ever supposed to leave me, we were supposed to be together forever and ever, screw death. It sounds pretty foolish, huh? But I just couldn't believe that such a thing could ever get in our way. We were like magnets from the moment we met, we snapped to each other and in a blink of an eye we were bound by the hip, in more ways than one, too…

College, that was the easy time. Looking back I can't help but laugh, we had such drama. I was trying to stay a straight A student and he just really didn't give a damn, we fought all the time, but we'd make up and _boy_ would we make up, gods, he was brilliant in bed. Then again, what did I have to compare him to? No one. He's it. He was my first and with the ways things were going he'd be my last. I'm not going to lie, I'm horny sometimes, it's just normal, right? Five and a half years is a really long dry spell.

That's why my brother _insisted_ I take a vacation and sent me off to Tokyo. Did I mention that the so-called 'vacation' was a business related thing, too? What a great little bro, huh? He's my boss, what a messed up world we live in. He took care of everything, I hadn't any excuses and he made sure I couldn't use my usual one. I grew up in Tokyo but I hadn't bothered to return since I went off to Kyoto for college. I just fell in love with the place and the next thing I knew I was married to man that refused to leave—Tsukino Inuyasha… Inuyasha, my darling one and only… I even became Tsukino Kagome, wasn't that great? We both got jobs there after college fairly quickly, much to my dismay a few years later my little brother followed me.

Now, I'm pretty grand at my job, I am, it's just not my life. I have other things to preoccupy me but my little brother, Souta, drove himself into the job over and over again until he got enough promotions to be pleased with his salary and he ended up as my boss, gods, it's the small ironies in life that really hit me hardest.

Nope, nope, I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff, uh-huh, I should be thinking about either just work or going to all the places I loved to when I was a teenager. I should try to have fun, I deserved that much, right?

I took a deep breath of the slightly polluted air of the city as I walked into my far too extravagant hotel, my little brother made the arrangements for me, I gotta love the kid.

That's when _it_ caught me out of the corner of my eye. I stopped in the lobby not too far from the entertainment stand where you could get a variety of magazines, newspapers, and candy. I really shouldn't… but my guilty pleasure is chocolate and I was sort of on vacation, right? I grinned to myself as I walked up and picked up a few candy bars and a magazine just to pass the time. I think I'm going to go upstairs and take a nice long bath in my Jacuzzi, yeah, I sighed, that sounds so grand.

I paid the man and put the candy in my purse as I began to walk away, flipping through the magazine just to see what it had. A few articles over the latest business trends, some fashion tips, an article from a supposed health Guru and… my heart stopped, my breath turned to ice in my throat and I swear I almost choked at the article in the far back… no, no… no…

I could feel the tears threaten to pour out of my eyes as I scanned the article briefly but what did it matter? The large, luscious, letters said it all that were marked over the picture… of them, a really, really, happy _them_. A beautiful female apparently from the highly influential Iwagaru family had her arms wrapped around… my husband's neck, he held her by the waist with the largest smile upon his lips—did they still taste of coffee with each kiss? I blinked and a few drops of water smacked against the page.

Inuyasha, you are getting married again?

The tears just wouldn't stop flowing down my heated cheeks. It's not fair, I made them go away finally… gods, I hate Tokyo.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

It's been five and a half years, so very close to six, since he was in that car accident, since his memories were washed out of his head. The doctors told him that there was a high likelihood that they may never return; since they hadn't in all this time… it was a bit disappointing. It _killed_ him in the first few years, he wanted so badly to remember something about himself yet all he knew was what he father, brother, and mother told him. It really sucked to learn about himself from other people instead of whatever memories were locked away in his head—were they even locked away or were they just… gone?

He didn't think about it much anymore, at least, he tried his very best not to. No need to cry over spilled milk, right? He still remembered how to do everything, it was just his personal memories had vanished, he needed a year and a half of physical therapy from the other damage of the car accident but now he was fine, perfectly fine. Great, even. He joined the Toashi family's business beside his brother, Sesshomaru, he was the most prominent businessman. It was easier if he just threw himself at his work, learned everything there was to learn about the company and his affluent family and act on that as if they were his memories, his past life, his everything.

So when his father approached him asking if he would marry the oldest daughter of the Iwagaru family he was only slightly reluctant until he met her. She was beautiful, brilliant, and fun-loving, they dated for a year and then he thought—why not? It was for his family, it was for his company, and he could live a fine life with her, so what reason did he have to say no? His mother, Shiori, wanted the wedding to happen as soon as possible and so did his future-mother-in-law so somehow, after only a few months of their private engagement, their wedding was right around the corner.

"Thank you for attending, Toashi-san," Myoga, the little imp of a balding and ancient man, bowed his head as they left the meeting room.

"Sesshomaru was supposed to come to this thing," Inuyasha grunted in return as he shoved his hands into his overly expensive suit as they walked out of the conference room at some hotel he couldn't recall the name of. It was a joint meeting between three companies, Toashi Industries being one of them, so one of the bothers were meant to attend. Of course, for some reason Sesshomaru couldn't bring himself to bother so Inuyasha had to be pried away from his Friday—_his _day off, he was supposed to be in the countryside with his wife-to-be—and go to it instead. His brother was a good for nothing.

"I will go get the car," Myoga declared as he fled like the little flea he was. He hated conflict and Inuyasha was just going to start ranting about his brother, too, there weren't be any physical contact. He snorted to himself as he closed his eyes, his shoulder bumping into someone abruptly as he walked into the lobby. He stopped, sighed and turned around to see a woman frozen in her steps, her shaky hazel eyes stuck on the magazine before her. She didn't notice the encounter, apparently, but a part of him demanded that he turn around and walk over to her and apologize anyway.

"Ma'am," he started, his golden gaze glancing about her awe-struck face, "are… you alright?"

It took him actually reaching out and shaking her shoulder ever so slightly for her to snap out of her daze and look up from his picture to see him _right_ there, _right_ in front of her, her eyes widened more than she thought possible as she shut the magazine and rolled it in her hands. Was she daydreaming? No, this wasn't real… how could it be? She knew… she knew he either lived in Tokyo or Osaka—the two hubs for Toashi Industries—and that's why she never wanted to return to Tokyo but… but how could… could out of all the millions and millions of people that lived in Tokyo, could they run into each other?

Was it fate?

She choked as she whipped away her tears but that didn't work at all.

"Ma'am," it killed her to hear him say that, he sounded so distant yet caring… just like the Inuyasha she knew, even though he tried his best to pretend like he was a badass, that he didn't give a shit about anyone, if he ever saw a woman cry he went to pieces and tried his best to stop it. It was her secret weapon with him, though she'd never admit it, she became a very skilled fake-crier in all their years together. But they weren't together anymore… she was 'ma'am'.

She couldn't do this, she just couldn't, she choked back sobs and covered her mouth as she shook her head and ran towards the ladies room to lock herself in and slide down the door so she sat upon the cold, pattern covered floor.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

I loved him, more than anything in the whole wide world, so when I saw that he needed a _tube_ stuck down his throat to breath and the constant 'beep-beep-beep' of a machine to tell the nurses that yes, he in fact was still alive killed me. I broke down into tears right away and fell beside his bedside. I stayed there for three days straight, much against the will of my dear friend Sango-chan, she kept telling me to go home, shower, change, sleep some, that everything would be fine.

She was so wrong.

On the third night Miroku, her darling husband, pried me away and demanded that I at least change my clothes and wash up. He told me I _needed_ to be away from that sight for a while. He swore to me that Inuyasha was far too much of a pain in the ass to ever die on us, that he'd wake up from the coma. Miroku was right.

Yet, when I came back the next morning from that shower, change, and a terrible night of sleep in the bed that we used to share _he_ was there by Inuyasha. I tried to tell him to leave, that Inuyasha wouldn't want him there, that he didn't even show his cowardly face at our wedding so why would he think that my _husband_ would want him here now? After everything he did? Inuyasha truly hated his father, Inutaisho, more than anyone else.

I can't blame him, I wouldn't talk to my father if he did the things that Inutaisho did to Inuyasha.

He just gave me the cruelest look and reminded me of the fleet of attorneys he had on constant pay. That if I thought that I was going to retain the post as Inuyasha's wife after I allowed such a thing to happen to him—I wasn't even in the car!—then I was sorely mistaken. I told him, pardon my French, to fuck off. He did… but he was back every day and apparently I hadn't the right to turn him away and I couldn't be at Inuyasha's bedside every second of every day.

Inutaisho appeared every day for two week straight, I started to fall for his trick… maybe he really wanted to rekindle his connection with his youngest son? Maybe he wasn't as bad as Inuyasha said? Maybe he really loved his little boy? I had never met the man, I had only ever seen pictures of him from Inuyasha and heard the horror stories.

Then Inuyasha woke up in the third week and my heart swore only for him to say three words that would forever haunt my dreams, "_who are you?_" he didn't remember me… he didn't know I was his wife… he didn't know how much I loved him. He didn't know who anyone was, not even himself, but that was OK, we'd fix it, with time he'd get his memories back or at least I'd be able to help him piece together our past with all the pictures we had but then Inutaisho stepped in and told Inuyasha nothing but lies after lies. His bran was so boggled to start out with that when Inutaisho requested that he ask for a divorce he wasn't sure what was going on. I don't think he even remembers that first hell month, he must not since he didn't recognize me in the lobby just now...

I took a shaky breath in, I wouldn't sign the papers until Inutaisho began to threaten me. I'm not a weak woman, I would never give up someone I love because of whatever that wicked man said but then he started to threaten my _family_ and I just… I just couldn't risk that. He could take my mother's home from her, take my grandpa out of the hospital that kept him alive, yank my brother from the prestigious collage he got in and… worse, much, much worse. I relinquished my right as Inuyasha's wife…

I hate that I did that, I tell myself that I didn't have a choice but… I did. I could have given up everything to stay with Inuyasha but would it have mattered? Would he have remembered me ever and really appreciate all I did for him? I couldn't risk that… no, not then, not at such a precious time.

Inutaisho _banned_ me from ever seeing Inuyasha or seeking him out. If he ever caught me doing so there would be hell to pay so I never did, I never googled his name like I so desperately wanted to, I never let any of my friends tell me anything about him—Inutaisho even withdrew Inuyasha from Miroku, Sango, Shippou, _all_ over our friends! It was too cruel… but that doesn't matter to you, does it, Inuyasha? Because you don't remember any of us anyway…

I gasped in enough air that I finally stopped the waterworks and got up to whip my face clean of the smeared make-up. I looked like such a wreck… some vacation this turned out to be. I sighed shakily as I stared at the woman that looked back at me, my hand still tightly grasped on the retched magazine.

"You can do this," I whispered to myself as I brush my ebony waves out of my face and took a deep breath again. All I had to do was go across the hallway and up the elevator to my room and lock myself in there until I could leave Tokyo. Tomorrow I had one more engagement I had to do for my brother and then I was _gone_.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before I opened the door to see…

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

"Uh, sorry," Inuyasha stuttered some as he stepped aside to let the stunned woman by, "I just couldn't help myself. You seemed so distraught, are you alright now?"

She couldn't do anything but stare, why would he follow her all the way to the bathroom to check? Perhaps… just a small bit of him still remembered her? No, she closed her eyes as she sighed, she had to stop her wishful thinking. It took all the power in her body but she managed to muster up a weak smile, "yes, I'm better now, I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry about it," he assured as she stepped out and began to walk down the hallway, he… he just couldn't help but follow, "do you stay at this hotel?"

"Yes, I just have to go up a few floors and I'll be fine, please do not worry about me," she kept up with the most steady voice she could manage as her shaky hand pressed the 'up' button. Why was it when one wanted the elevator the most was the exact time that it took the longest to come?

"Do you need a doctor or anything?" he inquired as he brushed his hand against her shoulder, it was supposed to be a caring gesture to show he was a friendly and nice guy but she jumped so much that she dropped her magazine and her purse almost slid from her shoulder but she caught it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," what was with this woman? He knelt down to pick up the crumpled magazine by its spine and flip it over, he glanced over a few pages as he stood up before flopped it in her open palms. She tried her best to will the page that was flying in slow motion in the air not to turn, to stop, for the wind to blow it back as he dropped the magazine in his hand but… that didn't work, and somehow, _somehow_, the magazine ended up on the one page in the entire two-hundred paged thing it shouldn't. He caught her eyes widen.

"That…" he dragged out as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I told her not to go overboard but… she's just that type of person."

"C… Congregations," really, _really_? Did she have to say that to the only man she had ever loved when she discovered that he was to wed another? _Really_? Was there anything left for fate to use to bitch slap her in the face? She highly doubted it.

"Thanks," he muttered as the elevator door chimed open and she quickly jittered into it. "Bye!" he barely got in before the doors shut, all the while he noticed her eyes were looking anywhere but at him… really… what a strange woman.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

This was it, this was the last errand I had to run for Souta. I had to _hand_ deliver these stupid documents because for _some_ stupid security reason they had to be delivered sealed and signed. What was I? Souta's personal secretary? No. That little brat, he's going to pay for making me endure all of this just to deliver a few documents! Didn't they have lawyers or something for that?

I went into the building, told the security officer where I needed to be and why, and he buzzed me up. It took me maybe ten minutes to get in and out, I was rushing, of course, and then I was done! I had even been carrying around my small luggage so that I could go straight from the building to the train station so I could be back in Kyoto by dinner. That sounded brilliant, didn't it? I would still have the rest of the week to myself and Souta had given me all those days off so I could just relax at home where no one could find me but people that I _wanted_.

Gods, but that was such a lie, I wanted Inuyasha to find me. I had yearned night after night that somehow, mystically, our love would have just sparked his memories back and he would appear at my door with roses or chocolates or nothing at all just to say how sorry he was about all the terrible things that we had to go through, that he still loved me, that if I'd have him back he'd love to get married again.

I don't know… I had about a hundred million of those scenarios worked out in my head, I daydreamed about it all the time, I dreamt about it, it was my one and only hope. It was what I wished for every time I saw a shooting star, it was what I prayed for every night, it was my New Years resolution every year to get over it but… I'd flip a coin into the first fountain I found the very next day and make the exact same wish.

I made one stop… one stupid stop on my way out to the train station—I had gotten in a cab, just in case there was even a glimmer of a chance that I'd run into Inuyasha on the street—and got out at the bottom of the stairs of the house I grew up in. My mother no longer lived there, she had moved to Kyoto a while ago with the rest of the family, and it was all about the shrine on the property now.

I took a few breaths as I walked up the stairs and headed towards the hut that housed the well that I had doted over all my high school years. How many times had I ran to it to make a wish that the cute boy in this class or that class or from this place or that place would notice me and ask me out on a date? Countless times and how often did it work?

Not. A. Once.

But I just… I just couldn't help it, I went to the well all the same and looked down it to see the small amount of water that was at the very bottom. It was the source of life for the shrine, it was called the shikon well and supposedly would grant anyone's pure wish so swarms of people would come by to flip some spare change in and wish for something—a higher salary, a hot wife, whatever, I had heard some pretty odd things in all my years living by it. But, like I said, it was all that spare changed that bought the renovations that the shrine needed.

I bit my bottom lip as I took out a coin, I closed my eyes before I flipped it out.

_Please, please, please! Inuyasha, _please_, remember me. Remember us. Please, please, please, let there be a way for us to be together again… pretty please?_

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

He didn't know why… it was his day off, and he actually got it, he was supposed to go to the countryside with his fiancée and take her on a picnic or something but he just wasn't feeling it. Instead he sat in the back of his luxury car and let his driver cruise around the streets of Tokyo. He just couldn't shake a strange feeling that had sparked in him since he saw that shattered woman in the lobby. Why was she crying? Why did it bother him so much to see her cry?

There was something about women crying that cut right through him… was there a reason? Did something happen when he was young that made him hate it? Did someone he love cry like that and he was helpless to stop her tears? Did he make woman cry all the time and now felt bad about it for some reason? What was it?

He rested his head on the cool window as he stared out the tinted glass, strangers upon strangers faded by along the hours. Sometimes, for some reason, doing this would be able to get rid of that weird feeling. Somehow, seeing all those strangers reminded him that he could be worse off… that he was just fine where he was at, with what he had, and what he _didn't_ have.

"Stop," he ordered as he sat up and slammed his hand against the seat in front of him, "stop!"

"What?" The driver inquired as he jerked to the side of the road to stop, a siren of horns shot out behind him, "what is it, Toashi-san? Are you alright?" But by the time the man turned around Inuyasha he fled the car.

"Hey!" He didn't know why he was doing this… he didn't know why he was running up to her as she walked down the stairs from an apparent shrine visit. He didn't know her, she was just like any one of the other strangers that he passed by on a daily basis, so why… why was it like she was a beacon to him?

Her eyes widened as she stopped on the bottom step, she rearranged her purse's strap on her shoulder and shifted the weight of her bag from one hand to the other before she figured out what to say in return, "hello?" she guessed that was good enough… right?

"H-hi," he repeated, how lame, he lost his cool with this girl… why? "That looks heavy, do you need—?"

"No, that's fine, thank you," she protested as she stepped away from his extending hand, "I'm just on my way to the train station. I have one to catch, so if you excuse me," she sped as she took a step down. In her fluster she tripped over her own high heel but he caught her effortlessly. She froze just like he did, breaths hitched in their throats, before she slowly looked up to see his glimmering golden eyes locked onto her. They were _so_ close… so very close but it was still 'hey' and 'hi' not 'honey' or 'sweetie' or anything… her breath quickened as she stepped away, "um… I… the train…"

"I'm heading in that direction," he spat out, taking a step to the side to keep her from moving, "let me take you."

"N-no," she swallowed, this was… so strange. Every bit of her wanted to shout 'how could you not remember me? It's me! It's Kagome! It's your wife!' well, ex-wife, but she couldn't… she couldn't because of the repulsive _fear_ that struck her deep into her core. She had her reason, though, she knew she was right… she couldn't risk her family, her precious, precious family… though, there was nothing in the whole wide world that she wanted more than to tell him...

"Please? I'd feel awful leaving such a pretty girl on the sidewalk to carry such a heavy bag all the way to the train station, look, I have a car right over there," he nodded, what was with him? Why did his words trip over each other as they fell out of his mouth?

She shook her head lightly as she glanced over to that very nice black car that was idly waiting, making traffic go around it, how rude…

"Kagome, please," he requested with such a sweet need that she couldn't say no. The next thing she knew he took her luggage and she was scooting into the car with him right behind her to shut the door and give his driver instructions to go to the train station.

Wait… she took a breath of thick air, she had… had never told him her name, right? Or had she, in all her confusion, mentioned that the day before? "I'm… I'm sorry, but when did I tell you my name's Kagome?"

His eyes flickered from the driver to her, did he say her name was that? He had to think about it for far too long… how'd he know that? "Your luggage…?" he guessed, "you have a name tag on it in case it gets lost," he pocked at it.

"Oh," her shoulders sagged. How cruel, her hope flew up only to be smacked down…

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

The tension between the two was mind boggling as they stood face to face right beside the train, her eyes seemed to plead something to him but he just couldn't understand what and he didn't dare sound like a crazed man—well, more than he already appeared so—and ask her what that twinkle was all about. He bit his bottom lip as she looked away and started towards her train, "wait," he couldn't help but call out weakly as he reached out to grab her luggage to stop her.

"What?" He could hear her voice pick up as she turned around to see him, something beautiful was in her eyes… what was it? Why did he stop her? "Have… have we ever met before? You seem so familiar to me…"

She was familiar, that had to be good, right? She pressed her lips together as her brows furrowed but… but she had too much to lose, she couldn't risk Inutaisho finding out that she had even seen Inuyasha… so with a deep breath she shook her head, "no."

"Are you sure?" he inquired as he tugged on her bag as she tried to pull it away.

"Yes!" She protested as she tried to get her bag away but he only grabbed the other handle.

"No, I'm pretty sure I know you," he retorted, "are you sure you don't know me?"

"I'm positive, now leave me alone!" She hated to do this, she really, really, did… her heart truly hated her at that moment but her brain was applauding her. 'Good job, Kagome,' it told her, 'this is for your family, this is so he cannot take it from you!' but that didn't help her at all. She still felt the tinge of tears behind her tightly closed eyes as she jerked her luggage away from his grasp finally and she stepped onto the train to find her seat, not looking back at all…

If she had then she might have noticed what she had left behind on the station as the train pulled away.

* * *

**A/N:** This idea just came to me so I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy and if you are confused at this point that's OK, you are supposed to be :)

Thank you for reading and please review.

_**REVISED: 12/4/10 - for grammar/spelling errors/etc**_


	2. Chapter 2

**{~| Amnesia Affairs |~}**

[|:|]

I… don't know what it is about that girl. She swears we've never met and why would she lie about that? What? Did I just get my attraction for her mixed up with whatever it might feel like to remember something? She was pretty, really pretty… but not extraordinary, not supermodel gorgeous so why did she strike me as so much more? Goddamn it all. I hate being confused. I can take anger, I can take joy, I can take boredom, I just _cannot_ take confusion. It reminds me too much of the start…

I don't remember the first few months after I woke up from my nearly month long coma, it's all just a blur. I know my dad was there, I figure my mom and brother were around, but other than that nada. It's annoying, really… no, gods, I told myself I wasn't going to think about that anymore. I grew up in Tokyo, I went to an all boy boarding school from elementary school to high school where I got into the same academy that my father had gone to, and then I went to Tokyo University. What more do I need to know?

Did I ever have a girlfriend? Other than the friends that have came forward after my accident how many others are out there? Was I a loner? A loser? Was I the cool guy in the school—I'm inclined to think that way.

Damn it. I should really be out in the countryside meeting up with my fiancée; she's waiting for me but… I'm just not feeling it. I really like her, she's nice, she's sweet, she's fun loving, but she's _very_ old fashion, too. That's why I can be sitting in my dark living room alone without a care of my fiancée walking in.

I live alone in my apartment, even though we're engaged we won't move in together until after we get married. We've never had sex, either, we've been together over a year now and not _once_ because she wants to wait until marriage and… because of that, she loves me all the more because, guess what?

I honestly just don't give a damn. She's really beautiful—I think I've mentioned that a thousand times already—and I'm sure I'd love to go all the way with her but… I don't know, I'm just not inclined to bother with that stuff. I think that hit in the head after the car crash messed something up in my head because… I've just never been interest in that. I wonder, before I got hit in the head was I a sex addict? Did I do it with just any pretty thing? Did I just have one girlfriend? Did I _ever_ do it? I figure I wasn't a virgin when I got in that accident. I mean, I was twenty-seven, it would have been pathetic if I've never… now I'm almost thirty-three and getting married for the first time.

I wonder… if we'll have kids, do I want any? I don't think she really wants them and I don't care myself. My older brother Sesshomaru has two with his with Kagura, his daughter is who he obviously—well, as obvious as he can—doted over the most, little Rin. She's cute, I like her. They just had a son, Jin, so the Toashi family name is safe. My father won't pressure us into having kids if we don't want to, I'm sure.

That woman… why did she always look so broken? Why did she jump whenever I touched her? Maybe she's just damaged, yeah, that's probably it… but then where does this voice come from? The one that's been beckoning me ever since I saw her, or am I just making this shit up?

"_Inuyasha! Stop! I swear! I want to study, OK? Back off!"_

"_Sit! Sit! Sit! You are driving me crazy, Inuyasha, please just sit down if you are going to stay here! Or leave, I need to study for the exam tomorrow. I know you don't care about that type of stuff but _I _do!"_

"_Fine, fine, shush, Kagome, settled down."_

I keep hearing her voice… study? Did we go to school together? No, damn, I'm just making it up. My minds just playing tricks on me, it knows I want to remember stuff so I'm just clinging to her and adding her voice into vague scenarios. That's it… that's all. Still, I couldn't help but flip the piece of plastic around in my hand over and over again as I swirled a glass of brandy in my other hand.

It's nothing… she's nothing. Hell, she said so herself.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

Air in, air out, air in, air out… it's as easy as that. Gods, it's ridiculous, really, pathetic actually. I'm Toashi Inuyasha for fuck's sake. I deal with the most vicious businessmen day in and day out but just standing in front of the wooden door made me shake like a little child. Why? It was like _déjà vu_ to the extreme—as if I _knew _the door. The golden numbers upon it, _319_, matched the little blue, warn, piece of plastic perfectly.

I took another breath as I lifted it up to look at it, Tsukino Kagome—that was her full name? It was a pretty name… a really pretty name. I don't know why but I couldn't read that enough. Right below it was her address, so she lived in Kyoto? I've never been but I've heard good things. My fiancée has been wanting to come here but then business kept popping up to get in my way. Now what?

Now I'm here, in Kyoto, but not for my fiancée… but because while I was playing tug-of-war with Tsukino Kagome I ripped off the identification tag in case the luggage ever got lost. It had her name, her phone number, and her _address_ so it could be returned to her. I hadn't noticed I was holding it until the train doors were closed. I had planned on throwing it away as I walked back to the car that once again was waiting for me but I couldn't, it was glued to my hand and each time I tried to let go of it my fingers gripped it all the more.

The address, the name, her face, it was all so… so something! Some familiar? Was it familiar? Or did I just want it to be?

I'm fucking crazy. Why the hell am I standing in front of her door? I've been doing it for fifteen minutes now and I have yet to find the will power to knock. What would she think? That I'm a loony case and call the cops? I'd certainly freak out if someone that I met the day before in Tokyo followed me all the way back to Kyoto.

Gods, no, I took a step away, I need to leave. I need to stop thinking like this. I… I…

"Inuyasha?" the most awe-struck voice I've ever heard called out to me. It was such a _familiar_ voice that I couldn't help but turn my head.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

"It is you!" The man gawked with the greatest grin as he hurried down the hallway; he _almost_ hugged the stunned silver haired man but stopped himself. "Wh-What are you doing here?"

That was the golden question, wasn't it? Inuyasha hadn't the faintest clue, really, but that went for the short black haired man before him, too. Violet eyes, some golden earrings, an athletic build… nope, it didn't ring a bell—not loud enough, at least. "Do… I know you?"

"It's me, Miroku," he sighed, of course it would be too good to be true that Inuyasha would just appear like everyone had been hoping for years with all his memories back and ready to start where he left off. That all their lives would be normal again but, hey, at least he was here finally, right? "What are you doing here?"

Miroku… Miroku, he just shook his head as his golden gaze glanced to the number 319, his brows furrowed, what _was_ he doing there?

"Kagome's not home," Miroku wearily warned, "she's on vacation and won't be back until late Thursday night."

"Oh," why'd he sigh when he heard that? Wait, he turned all the way to see the man named 'Miroku', "how do you know I'm here to see her?"

"Well… you _are_ standing in front of her door," Miroku had to state the obvious as he nodded to door, "do you remember her?"

"Why… why would I?"

He couldn't help but frown at that.

"How do I know _you_?"

"We were college roommates, for three years… you don't remember that at all?"

"Oh," now _that_ made sense, "sorry, I got in an accident a while back and ever since my memories been on the fritz. We went to Tokyo U together? Did Kagome go there to?" Was that how he knew her? Just a college friend? Maybe not even a friend, just a girl he knew from a class or two?

"Tokyo U?" Miroku mused with a cocked brow, "no, no, we went to Kyoto University."

"No," Inuyasha dragged out, "no, I went to Tokyo U. I have a degree from Tokyo U."

"I… don't know how you would," Miroku said with ample space between each of his words, "we went to Kyoto University."

"You have me mistaken for someone else, then," Inuyasha spat out with some spite as he took a step away from the man. "I went to Tokyo U."

"I have photos of us back in college, I even have some campus newspapers that have articles about us in it… if you'd like I'd be more than willing to show them to you," he remembered full well the threat that Inutaisho gave but he had only ever given it to _Kagome _and her family. Sango and him had always wanted to help but Kagome kept getting in the way, begging them not to and how could they refuse her? Especially when she started to cry?

They just bit their tongues and did everything they could to make things easier for their dear friend. They even went so far as to move into the same apartment complex so that they'd always be close if she needed them. Not that that was much of a sacrifice, really, since they knew the landlord, old lady Kaede, and got a great deal on rent because of it.

"O… OK," what was the worst that could happen? Miroku was wrong? Or… maybe he was right?

He followed the man down the stairs to the second floor then through the hallway until they got to the door he had a key for, he let Inuyasha walk in first to their humble abode. From the decorations, furniture, and array of pictures upon the walls he could tell they were upper middle class and happy with what they had. He couldn't help but migrate over to the wall of photos as Miroku wondered out of the room. There was a pretty brunet in all the pictures, it must have been his wife, they had their wedding picture on the table beside him—she was a very attractive woman, he couldn't help but notice. Then there was a series of three baby photos, two were always together and as the series of photos went on and they got older he could tell they were a set of female twins—adorable little girls—who apparently had a little brother that was two or three years younger.

They were a happy, complete, family… where did that pang of envy come from?

"That's my wife, Sango," Miroku declared when he reentered the living room, Inuyasha had picked up another wedding photo to look it over closer. His eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing… next to Miroku was… him? In a tux, smiling? And next to Sango was… Kagome, in a breathtaking blue bridesmaid dress? Smiling brighter than the sun?

"And that's you and Kagome, she was Sango's maid of honor, you were my best man, but you don't remember that at all, huh?" Miroku muttered some as he sat down on the couch and opened the box he had. He waited patiently until Inuyasha processed what he said enough that he could set the frame down and slowly walk over to sit next to Miroku on the bed.

"Here," Miroku apparently had separated out some photos into piles and began to hand him a stack. "These are all the ones I have with you in it."

He took a deep breath before he nodded and began through them. He looked either perfectly happy in all the photos or pissed off, some of them he was trying to take the camera from whoever was shooting but… but there were enough that he could figure out where they were—a few had it written on the buildings they stood in front of, _Kyoto University_.

Some were taken in what appeared to be a dorm room that looked like it was theirs, guy stuff was all about, and then a few others were in a females room… Sango and Kagome were in a lot of them, too, and a _great_ majority had him and Kagome hanging over each other—sometimes in a loving matter, sometimes like friends that were just messing around would do, and a lot where of them fighting with each other.

A smile came to his face and he didn't know why.

"You and Kagome met before any of us, freshmen year, then the rest of us got together as a group," he explained as he pulled out the newspaper cutouts he promised he still had and handed them to him.

Reluctantly, Inuyasha took them and slowly read over them. Apparently they were active in some extracurricular thing called _Warring States Hunt _were groups of five went on searches for items, it was like a scavenger hunt and apparently just for fun. They did pretty well, they won the whole thing the second year by beating a guy name Naraku, who came in second place, and finding all the shards to a jewel and being able to resemble it. The tricky part, the article said, was when they had to be able to steal the shards from other groups that had already collected them.

Why couldn't he remember any of this?

"Wait," he set the cutouts down, "wait, it says _Tsukino_ Inuyasha," why did his heart skip a beat? "I'm… I'm Toashi Inuyasha, my father's name is Toashi, my family's name… it's Toashi."

"Right… but you took on your mother's maiden name," Miroku spoke slowly, he was well aware from the fright in his friend's eyes that this was a great deal of information to take in at once. From what Kagome had told him of the situation—which was little, but he couldn't pry, she was so upset about the whole thing anyway—Inutaisho had told Inuyasha lies upon lies about his life.

"My mother's maiden name is Sugari… she's Sugari Shiori."

"No," Miroku murmured, "that's your father's wife, I suppose your step-mother, but your mother's name was Tsukino Izayoi. You grow up here in Kyoto with her… you never really knew your father until the accident happened and he suddenly showed—"

"No," Inuyasha protested quickly as he shot up and walked away, a hand on his waist, his other on his forehead, "no. You're lying… you are… full of shit."

"I'm sure this is hard but I'm not…"

"What were you even doing upstairs?" He sped as he turned around to look at Miroku, he couldn't take it… he just couldn't so he had to change the subject, he had to lash out.

"I went to make sure Tadao is alright. While Kagome's away on her vacation I promised I'd take care of him."

His heart sank to his stomach at the prospect… "wh… Who's Tadao?"

"Your dog," and just like that his shoulders sagged, "Kagome always wanted one but you refused over and over again until you guys got married and moved into the apartment complex. You got her the puppy for her birthday. His pretty old now but since he's such a little thing that he'll live forever," Miroku laughed a little, "and Kagome dotes over him, she takes really good care of him. He's a bichon frise, those things can live to nineteen."

"Oh…" he grumbled as he began to walk around again, he just couldn't help it, he had to ask, "why not bring him here?"

"Saburo, my youngest, has a bit of a dog allergy or else we'd do that, Tadao is really great with kids."

"I… I have to go," Inuyasha decided, that was the best to do, he couldn't take this… his brain was on overload, it was about to explode…

"Where to?"

"I…" he didn't know but as he opened the front door to a woman with a toddler in her arm, a grocery bag in her other, and two little four or five year old girls carry a very small bag in their hands as they sped around his legs into the house, shouting for their daddy.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

Sango… she just stared at me like I was a ghost. Her son kept trying to get into the bag she was holding as she stood there still until he gave up and yanked on his mommy's loose ponytail instead. That snapped her out of her daze and the like yip she gave allowed me to blink finally and move out of her way so she could enter and set the boy down.

"Da," he wobbled over to his father who was helping the twins with their little bags of groceries, which they were really proud of how much they helped 'mommy'.

"Saburo," Miroku smiled as he knelt down to pick him up like he wanted, "Inuyasha, this is Saburo, and these are my daughters, Akiko and Akira," he placed a hand on whichever girl was named what. Honestly, I can't tell the difference. I don't think I'll remember any of their names anyway.

"Inu… yasha," Sango stuttered finally, gaining my weak attention, "you… you're here? Do you remember…?"

"Not a thing," I assured quickly, "I need to go… to think about this," I glanced to Miroku over that one and he nodded.

"Let me give you my phone number, in case you have any questions," he suggested before I had a chance to really move. It was easier for me to just stand there like a fool and stare at the floor, I just… there was just… too much going on.

"Hello," Akiko and Akira greeted in their cheerful little way as they hopped into my line of sight.

"Uh, hi?" I'm not good with kids, I've never really tried but still… even with little Rin I don't know what to say. Then again, maybe if it was a boy?

"You a friend of daddy?" Akiko inquired the best a four—maybe five?—year old could with a tilt of her head.

No? Yes? Maybe? I looked up to Miroku to see Sango whispering something to him with furrowed brows and folded arms. Miroku just kept smiling and nodding to whatever his wife was worried about as he wrote down a number and came over to hand it to me before I had to actually answer his kid.

"Thanks," I guess I muttered as I flipped the paper around in my hand. This just… this just wasn't happening. Was… everything really a lie?

"Good day, Hiroshis!" A beaming, boastful, _beautiful_ voice beckoned as the door opened, "I'm back early, guys, so don't worry about Tadao." I knew the voice, I lost my breath, I knew who was behind me but I couldn't turn around.

"Kagome…" Sango coaxed.

I could hear her inhale swiftly; I imagine she noticed I was here…

What do I know?

Those photos prove Kagome and I knew each other, that we were at least good friends if nothing else.

If… if my last name was Tsukino… and her last name _is_ Tsukino…? She's not my sister, we look nothing alike, she smells nothing like me, so that makes her what…?

"Auntie Kagome!" The twins shrieked as they stampeded their way past me and to—what sounds like—smack right into her, I assume to hug her since they were giggling so much.

I couldn't help it, my heart sped so fast I was sure it was about to pop right out of my chest. It was calling for me to do _one_ thing—turn around.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

The air she had gasped in seemed to have solidified in her throat, there was simply _no_ way she could find a way to release it or even speak… he—how? How could he be in her friend's home? Did… did seeing her make him remember his way home? Well, not really… but, no, that just couldn't be it. Sango and Miroku didn't move into their current apartment until Akiko and Akira were one, after Inuyasha was gone…

When he turned around her whole universe seemed to implode, he just had this look on his face. There was no smile, no 'I remember' look of joy, nothing but confound contorted confusion tattooed across him. What was she supposed to say? What if Inutaisho finds out he was there…?

"Hi…" Inuyasha was the first to speak, that was the safest and _only_ thing he could come up with.

"Hi…" she gagged over her own word, finally freeing her throat.

"Maybe you two should talk?" Miroku suggested only to be swiftly smacked in the shoulder by the ever so stern faced Sango.

Kagome couldn't, no matter how much she'd like to, so she simply shock her head and looked away.

"We know each other," Inuyasha surmised and his eyes flickered over to the array of photos upon the table, "but… you said we didn't."

"How did you…? Why are you…?" What was it that kept her from finishing any of her sentences?

"Did I," he paused some before he looked back to the pretty yet perplexed woman, "do something? To you? Is that it…?"

Her hazels snapped back to him, no, never… he was a good husband, he was annoying as hell a majority of the time, he irked her a lot, but when it mattered he just _barely_ managed to act his age and helped her with whatever the problem was. Money wasn't easy for them at first, since they were newlyweds and recent college grads but they got by and after the first two years they both got paid enough that they were satisfied with their lifestyle. In three they thought it might be time to start on that family they both yearned for, and wouldn't they make fine parents?

Granted, they were immature at times but for a child they could act properly and they both _really_ wanted it. Too bad Inuyasha's sperm was apparently lazy and Kagome's eggs were elitists that reject most of the applicants… even though it would be a miracle for them to conceive that didn't stop them, they kept trying and eventually—a mere _month_ before the accident—decided to make an appointment at a clinic that could help them with their problem. They could afford it, they'd find a way to…

"How about you two talk?" Miroku kept up, again only to be slapped by Sango, they had a very quick and quiet—almost as if they weren't really talking but just moving their hands and mouths but somehow they understood each other—tiff before Miroku walked over to Inuyasha, his eyes still wearily on his wrath filled wife. "In private, of course, we have a guest room you two could go to…"

"I'd like that," Inuyasha sped without really thinking. Kagome pressed her lips together and didn't say anything but still they ended up down the hallway and in that guest room. Alone. "Tsukino Kagome…" he started with all he could think of…

"Please," she whispered swiftly as she turned on her heels to look at him, her hands clasped, "I can't… I can't do this. Does your father know you're here?"

"What does that matter?" Inuyasha inquired with a raised brow.

"Please, just… you have to leave and… you can't tell him you've be… been here," though, there was truly nothing she wanted more in that very moment than to reach out and cup that cutely confound face in her hands and kiss his lips but she couldn't… she had to think of her family, of what Inutaisho had proven he was more than capable of destroying.

"Why?" Inuyasha couldn't help but take a step forward as his brows bent together, "why do you seem so scared of my father?"

"I…" wanted to tell him everything, she wanted him to be able to protect her, but where did his loyalties lie now? With his father, right? So if she told him of all her father had said then wouldn't he just listen to him? Wouldn't he think his father had done whatever he thought best for his son? If _only_ Izayoi was still alive, if only she hadn't died a year before the car accident, then she would have been able to get through to her son. None of this would have happened, she was a beautiful and strong woman—how Kagome envied her—she could take on Inutaisho, she always did. He had threatened quiet a few times to use that horde of bastard attorneys to win full custody of Inuyasha and _never_ allow her to see him but she always stood tall, she _always_ stared him down until he was gone.

She always won… if only Kagome knew her trick. No, she knew it, even though Inutaisho would never admit it he loved Izayoi more than his wife, even though he caused her constant angst, he could never take the one thing that gave her life meaning away from her—at least, that's what Izayoi always told Kagome when she reminisced about all the times Inutaisho came to visit. Of course, Inuyasha hated to hear of his dear mother talking about that 'bastard'.

"Please," he began meekly as he took another step and raised his hands to cup her face but they floated above her skin, he could never bring himself to close the gap. "Please, I really… I really want to remember you."

Wasn't this what she wished for just a few days ago? She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes before she took a deep breath and a step forward to close an entirely different gap—the one between their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, she just couldn't help herself, she had missed him _so_ much. Maybe this wasn't the best thing to do, it would probably be better to take him back to the apartment that they shard since they graduated from college and show him the video of their wedding, to show him all their home videos that they made for no real reason, to show him their pictures and so much more but she just… just couldn't help herself. She wanted _this_ more.

He could have pushed her away but he didn't and not a fragment of him wanted to, instead everything told him to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her body against his, to kiss her back and close his eyes. There was just a spark of something within him, something he'd never felt before for any woman he met. Their lips parted for the other and as if it was an old habit, as if they were simply made to fit together, their lips mingled, their tongues tangled and they made the most fumbled steps about until the back of his legs hit the bed and she pressed against him just enough to mistakenly lose their balance and wind up right there. She was on top of him as her fingers grasped a chunk of his silver strands and his hands rummaged their way down the back of her blouse to her bottom.

The next thing they knew shirts had been unbuttoned and discarded, a skirt was hiked up and a zipper parted but that was as far as it got before one of them found sense enough to push away and fling her hair out of her face all while gasping for the air that had been refused to her lungs for far too long.

"What?" He breathlessly inquired, finally opening his eyes to see a sight that felt so familiar. Her stationed above his rather perky region, her skirt up her hips, and her bra showing, still, she wasn't extraordinary, she wasn't some goddess creature, but to him she was—he was starting to think he knew why, too.

"Wait," she replied once she swallowed back the desire, "we can't… this is Sango and Miroku's guestroom. I just… can't. There are children outside and—"

"I really get the feeling that Miroku guy won't give a damn," he just _had_ to point that out. She gave him the cutest little pout but her hands did leave her ebony waves to his chest, he raised his to greet them. Still, she shook her head. "Alright," he sighed as he sat up but refused to let her leave his lap—not that she made any sign of wanting that—instead their eyes just remained locked before he kissed her again, not ready to let this chance pass and well… she had tried, right?

She'd tell herself that later if it turned out to be a terrible mistake.

Clothes were cast aside, sheets pushed away, bodies crashed together to fuse into one, hearts synced just as their movements did—just like old times—and moaned, declarations of love were made in their silent yet frantic frenzy.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

"That was a mistake," she spared no time to tell me after we were finished and found our way back down from the heavens we had temporarily departed to. If it was such a mistake why were our legs still tangled? Why was she still in my arms gently drawing designs upon my bare chest? Why did I get the feeling she didn't want me to let her go?

"Sure," I replied all the same as I closed my eyes and dug my nose in her finely scented hair.

"How'd you… find your way here?"

"I kinda yanked off your ID tag thingy on your luggage by mistake," I muttered back.

"_Oh_," she sighed, "that makes sense…"

"You sound disappointed," yet she didn't say anything in reply, "if… I am to believe I chose to go by Tsukino Inuyasha all my life… and your ID tag says Tsukino Kagome—"

"It's Higurashi Kagome," she sped, "I've just had that suitcase forever and never bothered to change it back."

I smiled all the same, that sort of answered that, "then… we were married at one point and lived in this apartment complex together?"

I seemed to have flustered her, she finally pulled away from me to prop herself upon on her arm and look down at me, I think she was trying her very best to come up with a reply since she opened her mouth a few times but always closed it. "I'm right, aren't I? Why not just tell me that…? Why'd we divorce? Did I do something? Is that why you are acting like this? Was—?"

"No," she assured me weakly as she looked away, "no…"

"Then for the love of _everything_ holy please enlighten me on all this shit," I requested rather rudely, I know, but I couldn't help it, everything was so boggled in my brain that I'm not even sure it functions right anymore. "I mean, that guy tells me I went to Kyoto University not Tokyo U. That I grew up in Kyoto instead of Tokyo. That my real mother's name was Izayoi and it's not Shiori and that… gods, I can't deal with this," I covered my eyes with my hand, "this is just too much… if it's true, why would my father ever lie? Why'd he lie about all this?"

I felt her lips upon my forehead and somehow for that moment I knew everything would be alright, but that assurance left when her lips did. She took my hand into hers as dragged it down so I'd have to look at her, which I was still more than willing to do. I'd look at her nude all day every day, it was quiet the sight. Though, that skirt had never fully been removed—much to my regret right now, but we were just in the moment so much that it would have been far too much work to pry it off. It was kind of sexy to see her in just that—wait, that's not the point.

"Tell me, Kagome," I muttered with a frown and… she smiled, sweetly, softly, and nodded before she did just that. I swear, if anyone else told me all she did my brain would have melted but somehow hearing it all from her lull of a voice it seemed like I could take it…

My name was Tsukino Inuyasha. I grew up with my very much real mother, Tsukino Izayoi, in Kyoto since I was two because it became apparent to my mother that my father would never leave his wife, Shiori. That'd just ruin everything. Shiori had been from a well off family that contributed far too much to the Toashi company and Izayoi was just a seamstress from a humble background but she was fine with it, she loved me very much and moved us to her hometown to raise me alone. My father sometimes came by to see how I've grown, maybe once or twice every four years. I apparently disliked him—hated him even—a great deal.

I guess this would explain why Sesshomaru hated me so and why Shiori always gave me that odd look like she could just barely stand me.

I got into Kyoto University and her and I met within the first month. She laughed as she told me how we couldn't stand each other at first but we had almost every class together so we couldn't avoid each other, either. She still thought I was cute and made an effort to be nice. I apparently made none back but somehow she found that attractive and even when we didn't like each other we couldn't stay away. By the end of the first semester we became friends, by the end of the first year we were lovers, by graduation we were engaged.

I was married to her for _four_ years… if all of this was a lie wouldn't something inside of me tell me that? Instead, I felt like it was all familiar, all right, I couldn't remember a damn thing about it, but I believed it.

I had to stop her when she got to the part about my car crash, "wait, we were still married?"

"Very much," through the story she had gained back her normal voice—well, I think it is, I can't say for certain. She spoke with a smile and as if she was comfortable around me again.

"Then… how is it that we aren't married? Did you leave me?"

"What?" Wow, the way her brows bent instantly and her voice shrieked, not to mention that glare... I guess the very idea deeply insulted her, "of course not!"

"Sorry," I muttered.

"That's when," she bit the side of her bottom lip before looking away, "your dad came. I don't know why all of sudden he wanted you to be part of his family again but… he did and assured me I hadn't any place in it anymore. I'm not from some high society bloodline, I'm the first one in my family to ever go to college… we've never met but he just didn't like me at all. He made me divorce you and took you away, telling you a bunch of lies in the process!"

"Made you?" I mocked as I pulled away from her and sat up, "how can he _make_ you divorce me? What? Did he pay you?"

"No!" She shouted once more as she sat up and actually hit me in the shoulder, "how dare you say something like that!"

"How could he make you then!"

"Your father is a very powerful man and he threatened my family! He said he'd remove my grandpa from the hospital he was in at the time, that he'd have them deny his medical coverage, and then my mom would be in debt _and_ he'd get her kicked out of her new home here in Kyoto. He said that he'd withdraw the scholarship that my little brother was using to get through college. Without that he could never finish and even if he could take out enough loans he swore he'd have Souta kicked out for academic fraud or something awful like that. That's not even the worst of it!"

Somehow… that didn't surprise me. My father could tear apart his enemies and if he thought Kagome was just that… he'd be able to do all that and more, I'm sure.

"Inuyasha," she took the side of my face farthest from her in her soft hand and yanked me to look at her. Any anger that might have been festering in me died right then, she had such a pleading, painful look upon her face that I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her all over again. "I _never_ wanted to do that… There's nothing I've wanted more than have you here with me. I always wanted to go find you… It killed me the other day to pretend like we were strangers but… he said if I ever tried to make contact with you that he'd… he'd…" tears were actually forming in her eyes, I couldn't take that, I pulled her into my arms and held her ever so tight.

"It's OK," I promised. "I'll make everything alright… Kagome, I _really_ don't remember any of this," I could feel her start to sob, gods, I _really _hate it when women cry, "but this feels _really_ right to me all the same. If you could put up with it… if you—ah," how could I _not_ think of this before? "You aren't married or something now, right? Higurashi's your maiden name, right? You don't have a boyfriend or somethin'?"

"Would I be in bed with you right now if I did?" She protested but didn't bother to lift her head from my chest, "you really mustn't remember me if you think I'd do something like that!"

"OK, OK," this woman was sensitive, jeez, or maybe I'm just an ass? Eh, whichever, whatever. "Anyways, if you'd put up with me will you… help me remember all this? I want to stay with you. I really do. I swear I'll take care of my father. I won't let him do a damn thing to hurt your family. I swear. I'll protect you." Nothing ever before had felt so right that those words—I'll protect you. I've never felt so compelled to do such a thing but for her I really did. I had to protect her.

A while passed before she looked up at me to kiss me and I took the lead to not let her lips leave mine, I'm took this as a 'yes', too, and flip her onto her back. She sort of pushed me away but then pulled me back, I really enjoyed this…

Finally, I yanked that A-line skirt off of her only for hands to cover my eyes, "what?"

"I need… I need," she took a deep breath, "there's more. I need to tell you something really important. The most important thing in all the world."

"OK," I pulled her hands away and looked up to her worry written face, "what?"

She took my face into her hands to keep me looking at just hers.

"There really… isn't a way to say this and not have it blow your mind so I'm just going to say it as straight up as possible."

"Please do," I insisted. Really, after everything she said _what_ could she say that would blow my mind?

She moved her lips a few times like she meant to say something but it took a few tries before she just _blurted_ it all, "I was pregnant when you got into that car crash but I didn't know it until you were in your coma! We have a son. He's four."

Fuck me… she managed to blow my mind.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

He sat at the bottom of the bed for some time, his shoulder sagged, his golden gaze locked to the carpet floor, some sheets piled in his lap, and if she didn't know any better she'd thought he was in a coma again but… that was a big life changing curve ball. She just held the rest of the sheets up her chest to cover herself, her eyes stuck on his back as she rested hers against the headboard and held her knees up to her chest. How would he take it?

That was really the deal breaker for their marriage, ironic, wasn't it? Inutaisho figured out she was pregnant, she guessed he was trying to dig up dirt on her to convince her to divorce Inuyasha but none of his threats had worked yet—wasn't that sort of awful of her? She thought so at the time. But… she didn't really think he could do all those awful things to her family—well, she did but… but Inuyasha was her husband! The love of her life. She really meant their vows, 'til death do they part, through sickness and health, through hardships and all the rest! She wasn't going to leave him then, no, not when he'd need so much help. He'd need physical therapy, a shoulder to lean on, he'd need _her_.

And as his wife, she had to be there.

"You're pregnant," Inutaisho had stated after he cornered her in another room in the hospital, "how can you raise a child and take care of an amnesia stricken, physically disabled, husband?"

She couldn't find a way to reply to that at all, damn whatever doctor or nurse looked at her files and told him that! Stupid greedy bastard.

"There's a good chance the pregnancy will have complications," he assured her as he placed his hand on the wall right by her head, his fiery golden gaze that was so much like his sons yet _completely_ different shot an arrow right through her heart. "You never know these days… some of the things that people drink or eat… it's just not good for pregnant woman."

She had shakily cocked an eyebrow at him, was he threatening her somehow? That somehow he'd make her lose the baby? The longer he stood there staring at her the more she believed it… could he do that? Would he do that? Could he really…?

"And if by chance you carry the child to term… don't you see how Inuyasha's clinging to me? His father, his _blood_, what if I tell him of all your infidelities? All of your terrible habits? What if I remind him what an awful wife you are? How cruel you have been to him? What if my lawyers make a case of how you'd be an unfit mother and my son would be better suited to take care of the child? _Full_ time, then you'd never see this child of yours…"

"You… you… you can't do that, Inuyasha… I'm… I'm a good wife," she stuttered as she felt her knees buckle below her.

He did nothing but shrug a shoulder, "but he won't remember that, will he? And who will he be more inclined to believe? His father, his _blood_, or you? Someone he's only bound by words with?"

"It's more than words!" She cried.

"But he doesn't remember that, not even a little bit," he assured, "you divorce Inuyasha and you and your child will be fine. You ever try to find Inuyasha after the divorce is final and I will take that child from you, one way or another."

And that was it… he won. Somehow, four years were erased with a few signatures and a speedy process that lasted only days before she was officially Higurashi Kagome again.

The sudden movement from the end of the bed brought her back to the now as she watched Inuyasha walk about to relocate all his clothes, "wh… where are you going?"

"To kill him!"

"What?" She gasped as she moved to her knees and let the sheets go.

"How dare my father threaten my child like that! Or you for that matter! I'll kill him!"

She sighed, "oh… but, that's just going to make things a lot worse if you end up in jail…"

That got him to stop and glare at her when he finally found his boxers but just as quickly as it came his furry faded as he stared down her body. It took her a while before she figured it out and grasped a chunk of sheets to cover her stomach.

"Kagome…" he whispered as he dropped everything and crawled back onto the bed to yank at the sheets, "what happened?"

"It's… a scar."

"Keh, I figured as much," he grumbled, she couldn't help but smile that sounded _just_ like him, "I mean how'd you get the scar?"

She hated it… but she let him take the sheets so he could move his fingers across the curved line at the bottom of her stomach. "There… were a lot of complications… with the pregnancy. It was all really scary," she had to admit as she pressed her lips together, he looked from the mark up to her watery eyes, "in the end more things went wrong and I had to have a c-section… Inuyasha, I wanted you there the whole time." She grasped her hands around the one of his that still lingered by her gut.

"Kagome," he hushed as he pulled her into an embrace again so she could let out the tears that had built up from all those memories, "I love you… I really do, I don't remember all the reasons why, but I know that much."

"I love you, too," she meekly murmured, "I really do."

"I'll make sure everything's fine, just… trust me."

"I do."

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

I spent three days with her, I destroyed my phone after all Kagome told me just so my father couldn't get a hold of me. I knew he'd figure out where I was, he'd check to see that I bought a ticket to Kyoto and put the rest together. Fine, I'll be waiting for him to show up. That stupid fucker, I'm gonna kill him… though, Kagome keeps telling me not to do that so I might not… for her sake.

She showed me a ton of home movies all the while showing me pictures. For the first day it was all from my childhood and our time in college. My mother was a very pretty woman and I did start to remember a few things here and there—I think I recall my mother's voice. I remember she cried a lot when I was a kid, I guess that's why I hate to see woman cry, huh?

The second day I saw our wedding tape, I found another that was marked 'honeymoon X' and we argued for a long while—it felt great, it felt so right to bicker with her, like we'd done it a million times—until I turned it on anyway. She tried her best to turn it off but I wrapped her in my arms and kicked the remote far away from us so she couldn't get to it. Apparently, I was kinda a perv 'cause I somehow convinced her into tapping a few of our 'private' honeymoon moments. Needless to say, after watching some of that we got reacquainted with the bed that we apparently shared throughout our married life. The way it sort of squeaked every once and a while when I was thrusting into her seemed _so_ right… and so did she, really, really right.

After that minor setback, on the third day, she finally showed me all the _huge_ amount of photos and home movies she had of Hisao—my son… My son, Hisao. I have a son name Hisao… it's still hard to grasp. I still lose my breath at the thought but looking at all the pictures, from when he was in a container at the hospital because he was premature—gods, it killed me to see the pain on her face when she talked about that, she was so scared… so alone, there's nothing in the world that I want more than to turn back time so I could have been with her all the while. Fucking fathers, I swear I'll never get in Hisao way like mine did. Damn bastard, it's all his fucking fault—no, I'm not going to bother with that right now.

Let's talk about Hisao, he's freakin' adorable if I do say so myself. He's kinda a runt, but he's apparently really smart. Kagome gloats about the constantly, he must have gotten it from her but his looks are all me. He has the same ambers I do, the same silver mane, but not the same ears, he's got his mother's ears. Which is fine by me, he's only a quarter demon, it's typical they don't show the same traits.

He wears glasses, big, cute, glasses. Kagome said she had bad eyesight when she was a kid but she grew out of it and she thinks Hisao will, too. She videotaped everything, his first bath at home when he was just a bald, giddy, little baby. His first time eating baby food, his first playtime with friends Akiko and Akira, his first steps, his first word, all his birthdays, _everything_. It took an entire day to watch it all and a great deal of the night… she said she did it just in case I ever came back, so I could still share the moments with her.

I really love this woman.

_Finally_, the fourth day came and still no sign of my father—that worries me a little—but that meant that Kagome's brother Souta returned from his vacation to Jeju island with his wife and kids. He took Hisao with him so he could play with his cousins at the beach and Kagome could have some time off, she apparently had never been away from Hisao for so long.

I could tell she was awfully worried about him, she called him three times a day. The first day I was around she was on the phone for a few hours talking to Souta about all that had happened—he offered to cut the vacation short and come home but Kagome thought I should see all the videos and stuff before I met Hisao, I guess she was right. We decided that it was best if Hisao found out about me when we could be face-to-face.

Hisao's a really perfect name for him, I had to congratulate her on that a few times and she openly accepted the compliment. It took her months to figure out the right name and then she found it—life story, Hisao. He was just that to me.

"Hisao," Kagome started in the sweetest hush of a voice as she stood behind him with her hands upon his shoulder, "this is your daddy, this is Inuyasha."

He just stared at me with his big eyes through those lenses for a long while, not a thing upon his face. I was nervous as hell as I knelt down in front of him, he was surely my kid. I knew it the moment I saw a picture but I was even more positive now that he was right in front of me. He looked from me up to his mom before back down.

"You are the man from all the pictures," he spoke _very_ well for a kid that wasn't yet five. Then again, Kagome did mention he was a rather brilliant child.

"Yes, Hisao, he's from all the pictures," Kagome assured.

Apparently, she had never hidden the fact from Hisao that I was his father. She had shown him everything she had on me and even gave him a necklace that she had made for me back in college, purple beads with white claws, he wore it all the time, it was like his security blanket. She had always told him I was away but maybe someday I'd come back, that I really wanted to come back and be a family… she was really relieved that I showed up because he was starting to get smart enough not to let that be a valuable excuse.

"Where have you been?" he inquired almost sternly, the closest a child could get to it.

Erm, shit, what do I say? Away? I doubt he'd like that, "with my dad in Tokyo…"

"Why?"

I bit my bottom lip as I looked up to Kagome, wasn't she going to help me out here? "Because… he wouldn't let me come here and be with you."

"Why?"

Shit, I sighed as I looked back to him, "'cause he's an as—"

"He's not nice," Kagome sped as she knelt down, giving me the cruelest look. I guess I shouldn't curse around a kid, eh?

"Why?"

"I don't know," that was the truth and he seemed to take it. He nodded and seemed to actually be weighing his options before he moved away from the safety of his mother and wrapped his little arms around my neck.

It was the greatest moment of my entire life, hands down. I pulled him into a bear hug, trying my best to remember not to squeeze him too tightly.

"I furgive you," it was the first time I heard him mispronounce a word, my heart skipped a thousand beats.

"Thank you, Hisao," I whispered back, "thank you…"

"I've missed you…"

"I've missed you, too," even though I didn't know about him… there was a part of me that was always lost, always yearning for something, always beckoning me to do something I just never knew what… now I know what it wanted. It was _this_, to hold my son, to be with the woman that should be my wife still.

To be here, where I belong.

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

That wondrous time only lasted a day before Toashi Inutaisho finally showed up, much to both Kagome and Inuyasha's surprise he gave up quickly. He didn't try to justify his actions, he knew his son… he knew he was stubborn as hell and that he could never change his mind, not now. He had the gall to ask for forgiveness, Inuyasha refused, he was actually about to rip his father's throat out before Kagome intervened and looked Inutaisho in the eye.

"What you did is unforgivable," she assured him with a straight face and steady voice, "you took almost five years away from my son. That time he could have had a father all along. Izayoi could raise a little boy on her own, though," she added just to watch the great Inutaisho wince, "so I knew I could too but that doesn't make it easy… I can't forgive you. Only Hisao can."

"Kagome," Inuyasha protested as he tried to get her to move out of his way.

"Hisao has a grandmother but he doesn't have a grandfather," Kagome stated as she folded her arms, "the question is do you think you deserve to be his grandfather? Could you act the part? Could you treat him right? Could you make up for just a little of all you took from him?"

"Kagome," Inuyasha growled, "stop it, I don't want him in our life at all."

"That's fine," she looked over to him, candor craved into her façade, "you can choose not to allow him in your life anymore but Hisao has a right to know his grandfather if he wants. I think he'd like that a great deal."

"Kagome," Inuyasha kept up.

"After all I did? Particularly to you…?" Inutaisho dragged out with weariness and a brow arched, "you would allow that?"

"For Hisao, of course, I'm his mother. I have to do what's best for him, not me, no matter how much I might dislike you… you are still blood to him. Though," she stated with a grave amount of power, "if I think for even a second that you might ever do harm to him or try to take him away from Inuyasha or I," she shook her head with pressed lips, "you will severely regret that."

The man actually chuckled lightly, winning a deep growl from his son but not a flinch from Kagome, "you are…" he sighed, "just like Izayoi… I thought so, from the moment I met you at the hospital."

"Do you think you could be a _good_ influence on Hisao or not?"

His face went blank for a bit as his eyes wondered all about Kagome's stern stance, "I would like to try… he is my grandson." The sight of the little boy at the park where he found his son and his ex-wife did something to him... it just shattered whatever will he had to take Inuyasha back. The child was small, far smaller than he thought any Toashi could be at the age of four, but he looked so precious all the same as he ran around with his large lenses and father chasing after him that... Inutaisho couldn't bring himself to think to take away from Inuyasha and Hisao what he never gave his own blood.

"Then you can," Kagome replied, "but slowly. _Very_ slowly, and only under monitored visits until I think you can actually be trusted. That might never happen."

"I understand."

**.{.**x.o.x.**}.**

I don't get my wife, Tsukino Kagome, at all. How can she forgive that man after everything? She… is far stronger than I am. I suppose having a child and raising him for so long alone does that to a woman. I think that's how she always has been, too.

No, I know that. The longer I was around her, her family, and our friends the more I started to slowly remember. Within two years I remember a lot and welcomed the healthy birth of our daughter. Within four I had everything back and the greatest life any man could ask for with the prettiest wife, a brilliant still glasses wearing son, and a demi-diva daughter. Within eight I found a way, with Kagome's help, to forgive my father for everything. She had long ago let the grudge die, she's wonderful like that.

When all is said and done with my doctor _still_ glasses wearing son, fashion designer daughter, and the greatest wife a man could have, I wouldn't trade my life for the world.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading AA! I hope you enjoyed it and please review.

_**REVISED: 12/4/10 for grammar/typos/etc**_


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